


we love, we lose, we weep

by funkietowns



Series: love and other emotions [12]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, broken!fanxing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-06 00:23:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13399458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/funkietowns/pseuds/funkietowns
Summary: o2/12/16





	we love, we lose, we weep

**Author's Note:**

> o2/12/16

He remembered the day they moved in together, the smell of the freshly painted walls, how Yifan had pushed him against the deep blue shade so he could feel the reaction of Yixing’s body when he kissed him with passion and mellow. It had hurt to not be able to breathe, but Yixing would give up the air in his lungs for even a simple kiss. He remembered how Yifan had to peel him off the wall, the fresh paint sticking to his hair, and how Yifan had stood in the shower with him to remove the paint on his head little by little. It had hurt Yixing, but Yifan couldn’t stop laughing each time he winced.

He remembered how sad and boring the apartment was before they had put any of their own belongings up, and how their place had finally looked like a home by the end of the day. Yifan made it feel like home, because he was there and he loved Yixing, and that was all that he ever needed. Yixing remembered the last detail of the place, the midnight blue of the walls, the large windows and the golden curtains. He remembered how Yifan wanted to put up glow in the dark stickers on the walls, but Yixing had only let him do that in their bathroom because their room was perfect as it was. He liked the darkness of their room at night, how he couldn’t see Yifan’s figure when they were making love until two in the morning, but could still make out the outline of his body when it hovered over him. He remembered looking up at the ceiling, and frowning when, for the first time, he saw the glow in the dark stars on there. He had smiled afterwards because Yifan would.

He remembered those moments, how their love was a streak of red that contrasted against the darkest of shades in their room. They were life in void, they were what didn’t wither. He had thought so, anyway.

He remembered how the colors of the walls remained the same even when the streak of red had faded. The passion, the heat, the love which had once been described as red left when Yifan had changed. He’d fallen out of love for someone new. Yixing wasn’t sure how long ago, but he presumed it to be after they had settled down together.

He remembered it was slow at first, slow in the way Yifan kissed him as if he was thinking what to say to him when he was ready to leave. He remembered that Yifan didn’t look at him in the same way as he had once done so, how his eyes were full of despair and guilt because he knew that this would hurt Yixing more than it was it hurting him.

Yixing remembered their first fight, how Yifan had finally admitted that he loved someone else. Yixing had begun throwing things at him like a hurricane, first cushions, then books, later vases he had cherished. They shattered each time Yifan ducked. Despite wanting to hurt Yifan, he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?!” He had been furious at the sudden confession, completely caught off guard.

“I didn’t want to lose you!”

Yixing couldn’t believe how selfish Yifan had been. He had stared at him with rancor, unwilling to let him go, but he knew it was the right thing to do.

“I think you need to leave now…”

“Maybe I will.”

“ _Maybe_? You should.”

“ _Fine_.”

He remembered looking away, not watching Yifan walk out. He remebered crying until it hurt to breathe. He couldn’t stand the image of Yifan walking away from him, from what they had.

He constantly thought of what they used to have, how it was passion and beauty in the form of colors, how their love had once represented red, but now all there was left was void, and midnight blues.

They crashed down on him like the realization that he had just lost the color in his world that Yifan brought.


End file.
